April 1st, 1998 at 4:00 am
I am crouching down on the floor, by the back door, in our dark kitchen so I don’t wake my little sister. I am rocking back and forth and begging whoever is listening to save my dad. 42 years old and he is having a massive heart attack. My mind is racing and no one is there for me to talk to. No one to reassure my 15 year-old mind that everything will be OK.
My younger sister, Laura, is thankfully still asleep. Hopefully the only memory she will have is that one morning she woke up after our dad had a heart attack, and he was fine. She won’t have to try to erase the sounds of our father gasping for breath and begging God to let him live.
My mom is riding with my dad in the ambulance. She is exactly where she is supposed to be, but that doesn’t change the fact that leaves me alone in the dark for what feels like an eternity.
But then just as suddenly as the whole ordeal started, my Aunt Laura bursts through the door and swoops me up in her arms.
“I ran all the red lights! Nobody and nothing could have stopped me!”
She then sits and holds me as I cry. She sits and listens as I tell her how scared I am. She sits and tells me that she will always be there for me.
She sits and doesn’t leave my side until my mom calls and tells us my dad is going to be OK.
I will always love my aunt for running all the red lights to get to me.
March 14, 2016 at 5:00 am
I am getting ready for school when I get a Vox from my buddy and partner, Sean Gaillard. He has asked what our “drive up song” for the day will be, and I immediately respond with “Red Lights” by Tiesto. I have had it on my workout playlist for months; it’s fast beat and awesome bassline always get me pumped up and ready to take on the world.
The lyrics; however, have also always spoken to me as a teacher:
We can’t back down
We’ll never let them change us
We’re gonna make it now
What are we waiting for...
What are we waiting for...
Nobody else needs to know
Where we might go...
We could just run them red lights
We could just run them red lights
There ain’t no reason to stay
We’ll be light years away...
We could just run them red lights
We could just run them red lights
They have spoken to me about the duty we have as teachers to always push forward and do what we believe is right for our students. That we cannot back down in the face of negativity and adversity.
They have spoken to me about the fact I am never alone. Even on the days when it feels like no one is hearing my calls to action, there is always a WE out there supporting me, rallying around me, cheering out their reply; that together “we’re gonna make it now.”
They have spoken to me about the dangers of doing something just because that’s the way it has always been done, and that sometimes we just have to go on alone and wait for others to catch up. It will be an adventure, and we may have to ask for forgiveness here and there, but in the end it will all be worth it.
But today when they speak to me, they also speak to the 15-year-old girl feeling alone and lost.
They remind me that while we do need to be fearless leaders who are breaking through the frontier of innovation and calling out for necessary change, we also need to continue to be the supportive, caring, trustworthy, compassionate, and protective adults who will be there for the kid who needs us the most at that moment. Whether it’s to spend 15 extra minutes in the morning to reteach a concept, help them resolve an issue with a friend, eat lunch and laugh after a hard week, watch them nail a piece on the piano at a concert, or sit beside them while they cry, no matter what they need from us, we need to be ready and willing to run them red lights.
